The purple dino's memories

the purple dino has moved on a new phase of his life...

2006-09-02T06:38:00.000-07:00

and so... please catch him there in the new blog... can be assessed from the links... on the right of the page... and somebody please teach me how to create a tag board in the blog page.... thanks... =)

before i know it... its 5 days more to go....

2006-08-21T09:55:00.000-07:00

FiNaL CoUnTdOwN II

2006-08-18T10:08:00.000-07:00

oh well... under the constant nagging of a vixen (oops..) i shall pop by here and write a couple of things.. firstly.... countdown 10 days exactly to my leaving date... its so so soon... i wish i could have more time here in singapore ... to spend with my frens and family... having gotten to know so many new frens over the last few months .... i really wish to have more time with them .... more time to spend in church ....

this week itself .. 4 ppl from my cell is leaving for overseas... one to canada, one to australia, and one to hongkong... my cell is like getting smaller and smaller.... though originally we are twice the size of the other youth cell in my church ... we are like getting smaller and smaller... till a point we can almost be called an overseas cell grp due to the number of ppl going or gone overseas....

*pauses for a long time before pressing [publish post]*

mY FoRm oF WoRsHip ?

2006-08-03T10:31:00.000-07:00

....................

-_-

2006-08-02T08:43:00.000-07:00

begining to wonder if i am really capable to go china... begin to feel the inadequate-ness of myself...felt that i might not be able to do that after all... so many ppl out there who have heard me saying i am going to china to study chinese... says i am very brave and courageous to do something that no body would ... but today ... i felt that maybe i aint brave at all.. i wanna hide... i wanna disappear... i always thot that when it comes to chinese.. i am the pro one out there... but maybe.. i am wrong after all.. i can't do it by myself...

I dun like it ... not even myself... .. i am not yet ready... let all that i am be nothing....

2006-08-02T07:58:00.000-07:00

i dun want... i dun think i can take it.. let it all fade away... everything..including me.....

2006-08-01T09:37:00.000-07:00

I rEallY wOnDeR iF i rEaLLy tHaT FrEE....

2006-07-26T08:58:00.000-07:00

man... its like almost a month left... and here i am still lazing around everyday... ... dun even haver the mood or passion to do anything.. its like i just talk to my family doc today and heard that when her son went overseas.. it took them 3 months to pack.... well i am only down to a month.. and i am still slacking ard... -_-" .... makes me wonder at times if i am really wanting to go... sigh... ok ok... shall go back to try packing my room again.. buai !!!!

StILL RuNnInG.....

2006-07-25T07:41:00.000-07:00

i guess very soon i can attempt the army half marathon.... i hve been running like nobody's business.... almost every week.... and the distance just gets longer and longer... just yesterday... sam me and jasmine.. we ran 12 clicks... we just kept running.. and in the end... even lost our way and ended up in the country club... and we're going to run again this coming thursday... ... and also .. hav been going to the airport very frequently nowadays... 3 times in 2 days was the latest record... .. and every time i been there.. i am like reminding myself that veyr soon.. it will be my turn.....aww... haiz... ..

oh... and capts ball.. yea we lost at the quarterfinals.... our opponents were too tough liao... for the first time i saw ben jump to his max.. and only reached the catchers elbow when he DIN jump at all.... when i saw that i was like OMG..... although at the qualifying rounds we OWN.. quite some churches .... and played a few good matches.... but at the quarterfinals... we kanna OWNed.. ... man... they are just out of our league..... yeah but still i really enjoyed this year's game... really felt like family ... though we lost ... i seriously enjoyed this final game of mine.... =)

CaPtS BaLL is Yours !!!!

2006-07-20T09:35:00.000-07:00

Woah ... i am so excited about the finals this saturday.... less than 48 hours to go... man... i just cant wait to play... haiz.. well... might be very well my last stint at capts ball before i go china.. so i really wish to hav some silverware to mark the end of it... but yea... after all only a wish mah... ... Till now..i only can say that God has indeed been blessing me with a great time here in the last few months before i embark a new journey in China... i am satisfied... Thank You Lord for all that You have done for me in the pass few months...in this coming match.. i will play my very best .. put all that i hav into the game.. which i can do so for now i am a running man... .. Put my heart and soul into the game... Lord help me to do this... so that i would not look back and regret it... And leave the result into Your hands.. and glorify You with watever i get... because I know that You look at the heart and not my hands.... Father, take joy in watching Your son play... this i ask today... Thank You Father...Amen ...=)

A New Journey awaits....

2006-07-18T07:44:00.000-07:00

yea... starting to count down liao... went to take photos today... suddenly realised that there are so many things to do before i leave singapore... so many people to meet .. so many things not yet done.... but yet dunno what to start on.. -__-"
i've been looking at the map of my uni's surroundings... its like a few streets to the famous tian an men square... wat a strategic place to be in .... considering the 08 olympics... woah.. haiz... i am so going to be homesick.. well.. its my dream after all.. i just wanna embrace it... and take on the new challenge .. BRING IT ON !!!!!!!

Soon !!! i can smell it...

2006-07-14T09:34:00.000-07:00

been really running ard these few days ... i mean literally.. jogging in other words... hehbut it was good .. getting out of my comfortable couch to do abit of exercise...really loved the aching feeling thats comes after the run...
yea... just got the letter of approval from beijing .. the official letter that says it all... yea.. i am indeed going .... so many things that i wanna do now before i leave for china... ... i am so gonna miss home and church..i am so so gonna miss them lor..... looking at the timetable.. i realised that the school term opening ceremony is the same day as my birthday .. -_-"

PeRhApS .....

2006-07-06T01:16:00.000-07:00

Perhaps, after all, romance did not come into one's life with pomp and blare, like a gay knight riding down; Perhaps it crept to one's side like an old friend through quiet ways; Perhaps it revealed itself in seeming prose, until some sudden shaft of illumination flung athwart its pages betrayed the rhythm and the music; perhaps ... perhaps .. love unfolded naturally out of a beautiful friendship, as a golden-hearted rose slipping from it's green shealth.

Anne of Avonlea by L.M Montgomery

And I will go... to the secret place .. bow my knees to Your glorious throne, have Your way in my heart oh Lord have Your way...

2006-07-03T07:27:00.000-07:00

The door of trust ... i know that every little step of trust counts... i am learning how to walk this path... as i am praying for God to open China for me ... Jia hao said something about a picture of a diamond ... i guess i will start praying from there on...

Faith has to do with things... Trust deals with the person itself...

step by step.. i walk away.. step by step i am moving on... step by step i am growin up... to know that God is good all the time... and all the time God is good...

i really miss the kids... leonies... i miss them so much.. the khoos... they brought so much joy to my life before... -_- although its not the same any more... i still miss them alot...

BaCk FrOm SeNtoSa

2006-06-29T07:37:00.000-07:00

took the day off to spend time with a bunch of YC ppl at the sentosa, its like the 3rd time i've been there in 6 months ... really enjoyed the time there.. played beach soccer... then met this group of guys also wanting to play soccer... so we just played against each other.. final score was 3-2 .. we won.. and the most amazin thing was that i scored in 2 out of the 3 goals .....cos i haven been playin soccer for a long time ... and has a injured ankle ... yeah... thats why i say its amazing....

after that we played beach volley with them as well... before finally attempting our grand finalle.. to build the human pyramid in the water... with pui, jiahao,daniel and paul as the base... me and issac and lionel and edward were the second level... reggie.. the lightest among all the girls.... din wanna go up became the camera man... oh i mean girl... and by right our target was to get anais and jasmine to the top... instead ... after many many many... ( i mean really alot) tries... and failures... we decided that jasmine alone is enough.. and we will just attempt that... which she almost killed me many times...standing on my arms instead of my shoulders...
crash tackling me a few times.. strangling me once... oh man.... but on top of that.. it was SO SO MUCH FUN !!!! i really enjoyed it fully .. although i am back to the radiating red lobster.. with a couple of new injuries here and there....i cant wait to see the photos ..!!!!

yea... some one said a "prophetic word"... that the person i might end up with ... is ... long hair... studious looking .. wearin specs...good athlete... plays the piano... about 1.63... one head shorter than me... so her head should be at ard my chest height... kinda interesting the way the person said it... so girls out there ..u know wat to do...heehee.. joking la... ( i mean the part about the gals.. but the prophetic word.. its true.. some one really said it)

yea.. i know how hard it is... and how difficult and wierd it is in our conversation now.. it just aint the same anymore right..... i know very well.. but i am walking out of it... God is makin me an overcomer... !!!

Run HARD !!! and see if anyone catches up...

2006-06-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

I wanna run hard ... chasing after God .... not by my strength or my abilities... but by the grace of God..He will guide me and provides me the strength to go... if anyone comes by my side and run with me.. thats good.. if not ... i'm ok.. after all my attention and focus is not on anyone else but God alone... (trying ... not easy road to walk... )
was readin another fren of mine's blog.. got this idea....

qi shi .. yao wang ji hai zhen shi bu rong yi... you shi hou hai hui zai xiang... you shi jou hai hui tong .. yi dian dian la...zhen me shuo wo hai shi ren ma.. dou liang nian le... zhen me yang dou hui you yi dian dian de gan qing liu sia lai.. suo yi ne... suo na shi guo qu de shi pian ren de ... hai shi dei yong gan di qu mian dui de.. -_-

God u said ask and it shall be given to you... I ask for China

2006-06-21T08:03:00.000-07:00

yea... its been long ... a long journey.. walking out of it step by step... after all 2 years mah... not easy wan.. but i know that at least each step i am taking is a step counted.. heh..

yah indeed ... many months back when i told God that i am willing to put myself into His leading .. to be placed in China to study ... away from home and church...and i just ask for a good last few months here in singapore.. and indeed i did... over the last few months .. i hav been enjoying myself alot.. made so many new friends over the last couple of months ... more than i could even think of .. gotta know more ppl from other churches.. and it has been a real big blessin to me.... even now as the application to the uni is still uncertain... i pray HARD .. that God will give China to me... give me the opportunity to study there... not by my ability or wat but by His grace and mercy...

Up For Display Case

2006-06-19T07:53:00.000-07:00

finally i am back...so much to write yet my computer crashed some time back .. and so i went thru a whole week of no computers...yeah...i would say i just returned from CAC camp and is chewing on certain stuffs that i experienced thru the camp ... its kinda bit disappointing .. the camp that is.. but i am still glad that thru it i am still able to make so many new friends ... knowing so many others from other churches ...

i have so much passion for the churches of the CAC .. but wat william said is so true... that if after all that refining and trials that God has lead me to and thru it.. at the end of the day ... His will for me is to put me on a display case... wat can i do ? or how would i react ? me being a person who do things ... now not being able to do anything.. is kinda hard for me.. then as i was talking to a friend..and God just spoke right there and then ... that the reason He put me there on a display case was so that He can use me to set a standard for the ppl to follow... and at the same time watch Him work His wonders in the CAC.. The CAC is His .. and not mine...so there and then i lay down my rights to CAC , till now it has almost been a week ... and i am really missing my buddies from the CAC camp... havin met them at camp... it has definately been a big blessing to me ... really wanna know them better... =)

highly recommended CARS

2006-06-11T10:09:00.000-07:00

its kinda interesting how a movie that i watched just ... can be so linked to the sermon i just heard hours ago... speaking about runnig hard after God... and any one who can catches up with my speed is someone that God has placed in my life for me.. its a bonus... if not its ok.. after all its God that i am focusing and not if anyone can catch up with me... (or the other way round)

looking back at wat has happened... i am so so glad and amazed at how far i hav walked along this road of healing... still a far way though... but with regards to wat has happened .. i am makin quite good progress... heh.. being able to come to a point to share and connect with other ppl.. is something i never used to do in the past but now .. i am just doing it... yeah man.. its cool.. I mean God is COOL... !!!

A renewed passion .. an increased hunger... now all i need is a revived heart that beats....

2006-06-09T22:20:00.000-07:00

its been days since the family camp ... and its getting closer to the CAC camp liao... i wanna say that the camp has been great ... and i believe that the CAC camp will be glorious.. and i dun wanna miss that ... i dun wanna lose anything that God has intended for me for this camp... The thing that i realised though after this camp was that i still dun hav a ministry .. i still dun hav a heart that beats for some thing, when i look at other people .. i saw how they cry when it comes to something that touches their heart.... For my bro al, is children... what about me .. Do i still beat for the CC?? after all i still do respond greatly when i heard "kor kor barneyyy...." its definitely not good to be out of ministry for so long..

God i asked for a new heart .. a new heart that beats for the people around me .. a new heart that beats for the KY family... a heart that You said is going to be bigger than the one i have before.. dun let me passby without knowing what you have for me .. i wan to see Your glory ... i want to see Your glory ..... let my heart be changed and renewed ..... flowing from the grace that i've found in You .. ... .. ... ...

when love is not recipocrated.... its like giving away a part of your heart however small that is never returned.. .. however thru this experience .. i learned something new about God's love for me is that it really wants to make me laugh and cry at the same time.. I cry and grieve the times when i think about the lost of that part of my heart... and it hurts .... like losing a long lost friend .. BUT yet at the same time is that i laugh and rejoice .. cos the very thing that God has told me when it all happened, when He started this healing process in me is that no matter what happens... i am safe and secured in the Lord .. He alone shall be my strong tower and my refuge ... no longer i need to go back to that turtle shell of mine.. what an Awesome God we have...!!!

to be continued...@@

yea.. i guess its going to be harder than i thought...

2006-06-01T21:08:00.000-07:00

its been almost 3 days liao.. being on a emotional roller coaster.. .. going ups and downs... to many times i just wanna go back to that turtle shell of mine... but i didnt ... i wanna be brave to face the full blast of all the emotions..pains and hurts.. yet i know that i am secured ... i am saved ... God told me that .. but me being human and flesh in nature.. there are times where i still wanna run away from dealing with the problems.... not just about that person... but more of my family as well ... too many things happened in my family and i am still dealing with it.. and also with my decision in where to further my education ..

yesterday .. i went out drinking with my old budds... and for the first time i got so drunk that i needed assistance going ard vomitting.. even till now still suffering from the hang over.. and thru it i realised that drinking will never help... i still wannaa go back to God..

like what jiahao said ... when everything else in my life has been shaken off... when even my very faith is shaken ... when there is nothing else in my life can stand ... the very thing left will be my love for God .. the relationship i have with God will be the thing that see me thru...

Over and back to God

2006-05-31T18:21:00.000-07:00

Praise God in all circumstances . in all situations and problems, give praise to Him, for He deserved it all... Amen..

though it still hurt alot, and i am glad that it hurt(*pause to feel ... yea.. my heart is still there.. good...-_- *). because at least that shows i am still a human after all.. 3 times liao.. first 2 i withdraw, this time i guess i can categorised it as being rejected... haha... after all its my first time nia, will definitely take sometime to heal wan.. but i am really glad at the way the conversation went, how in the end there was no embarrasment, not much, reallie... and that there was no anger or disappointment.. and we managed to wrap it all up so good that i guess we are closer of as frens or brothers and sisters.. i like the ending that way .. cos i did have experience of things that din end up very well.. oh well, come to think of it .. i really never expected the chat to lead up so so far ... many times i have the chance to end it of early but didnt .. and eventually everything came out.. abit the unexpected also .. and the best thing was that when it all happened .. the first thing i thought about was that i am secured in God, and He will comfort me .. and that really shows how much God has been working in my life .. (praise God)

*** some one once said, that i am a person who tries to hide everything, displaying only the joyful self, is it that i am too optimistic ? or that i genuinely dun wanna think about bad stuffs? i dunno... i really dunno .. but one thing i know is that i wanna love God more***

*maybe its gonna be harder than i think .. but i know God is in control.*

Godly man do cry....

2006-05-28T08:51:00.000-07:00

yea... indeed, and they do cry alot... its been long since i last came here and write something and having gone thru a heavy weekend ... learning the Father heart of God from uncle Duaine... i dealt with many many issues that i never really dealt with before... issues with my father... so many seeds of hurt and disappointment over the years...all the approval that i seek from my father and has failed to receive ... ... being prayed for and affirmed as part of this big KY family was definitely a milestone for me,.... being here for 6 years almost .. and this is the first time i have been formally recognised as part of this family... having ppl who supported me and loved me so much .... i really really love KY... *applause applause*.. we even pledge our allegience to the leadership of KY .. and the members of Ky... and to hear what Ivan said when he said his pledge ... was something so so ivan... haha... ... well it shalll be a joke between all those who were there that day....

i guess i have come to a ripe... ... young age where we start to look... i would say observe... the time has come ,... the biological clock is starting to tick... looking ard seeing couples going in and out.... made me felt that... it would be good if ... and only if... .. lets just say i wanna love God more.. ... i still wanna place all my attention on Him who loved me even when i failed him many times.... many times i thought .. and thought ...and thought.. but still .. lets just say i am still young and wanna serve God more in my single years.... and wait for the day when she and i is both ready..

For Anything Impossible, Trust Him = F.A.I.T.H

God blesses....

2006-05-05T20:00:00.000-07:00

sometimes i just dunno how to put it ... being hurt by some one(s) real close, people who once had a close friendship with me ... ... after all it has been so long liao... like what Joel said durin service last week ... that there are some people in this world that after being hurt ... they tend to allow time to heal all wounds... which is a LIE.... Time will never heal all wounds .. as what i am learning now from this book, by stephen arterburn.. (healing is a choice) time will only make one get used to the hurts and pain.. and thru the course of time... make one"forget" about it which in fact its not... and its being buried alive ... and when it comes back .. it will be more devastating then it used to be... and thats what i was going thru last week.. and it went so so bad... that i suddenly felt the urge to just end my life... to just end it once and for all... suicidal thoughts... can u believe it.. i actually have suicidal thoughts going thru my mind.. and it was a real struggle back then to fight against it.. and one thing i realised about our God is that when we struggle and tell God that we dun wan to give up, we need Him to help us... ... help will really come on our way... as i was walking around aimlessly at plaza sing... i happen to meet this pastor from another church .. who once ministered to me alot... and thru Him God blesses me ... and at that moment .. i knew something in the spiritual realm was won... the battle was won ... indeed i believe that the suicidal thoughts were from the devil and it was his last attempt to bring me down...but God had intervene when i called on Him and now... its only the physical battle to fight... and yes i still need Him to guide me along... ... reading the book by stephen arterburn is a major breakthru also ... some of the concepts that was in the book is something new to me... and i am still learning and digesting it....

Praise God

A new challenge today

2006-04-23T07:05:00.000-07:00

its definitely a new challenge today... God has definitely brought me to a new level of patience and also learning how to talk to people that are... pretty hard to talk to ... i mean this guy that i met just after church.. that i saw talkin to Joel and later when i was downstairs shootin hoops ... he came up and talked to me ... first on some irrelavant subjects ... and then just as i tot he is getting into the real topic... he began talking about... more irrelevant subjects.... went ard the world..when he saw daphne khoo walking out.. He began asking .. is that daphne khoo..?? can i be her friend??, can i have her autograph..??? .. can i meet up with her someday???( and i go.. Oh no...) luckly daphne khoo drove away ... without knowing wat was happenin outside the car... he even told me to tell her about him ... and i go... err.... i dun think i want to subject my friend to this ... in my mind of cos..
eventually i had to secretly sms my friend to get him to call me .. so that i can excuse myself.. and eventually got out of the situation and he left...

its so traumatising... talking to him for almost a good 45 minutes ... the topics just went round and round... same questions can be asked 3 -4 times... and i have to answer it again and again.. i always tot i have the capabilities to talk to people that are hard to talk to ... people that are the black sheep or the out caste... but today i was proven other wise.. closing to the end.. when he began bringing out more stuffs... i felt tat he was not willing to stop the conversation anytime SOON..... so i decided to do something that will get me out of it... and as u all can see.... my fren also having seen my plight ... called immediately.. and i was out..after that i also heard from many of my frens whom he (that guy ) had approached ... that when they saw him talking to me... they decided to stay away from me .. in the safe environment of the MPH... and in the process left me out in the lurch...

but in the end when all is over .. i felt i had done something bad... i felt hypocritical.. that i was talking very nicely to him on one side... yet my heart was feeling other wise.. and was doing some thing to get me out of the situation...

its really an learning experience.. something tat i learned was tat God still love him .. but we still have to be tactful yet loving.. something like as crafty as the serpent yet as innocent as the dove...

First day of work...yawn....

2006-04-17T08:16:00.000-07:00

oh well... i am dead beat..... totally worn out... have been working at tecman ... after all they are moving to a bigger shop house and it requires alot of man power... and being the only male there.... naturally i am the man... running between 3 levels... moving boxes and boxes of books... here and there...climbing up and down .... oh well... tired ...very tired ... almost had to work OT... man ... on the first day... but well... i guess because i worked very fast ...i am like the hot fav between all 3 shops.. dying to steal me over... haha... @@
finally when over... was walking towards city hall when i happen to meet up with the surprise gang... anais dan and the rest planning a surprise on andy ... and joined them... had dinner then at marina square b4 taking a lift from jiahao ..... oh man... grace was bonkers the whole time with her tortise and rabbit song.... ... argh.. its still ringing in my head.... oh man... ... ...

times and times again i thought that it could be... only to be God remindin me to be fully satisfied in Him and Him alone...

its GONE !!! all gone... !! mr couch potato has no wisdom left....

2006-04-04T08:49:00.000-07:00

That dentist took away all my wisdom.... so greedy .. now no more wisdom liao... how ??? sigh.... hee... but to say the truth .. the ops today was swift and smooth ... not like the last time... and the bleeding stopped relatively fast and it din really bothered me that much .. and hence i was able to attend pastor's session of bible study... though still abit swellin and stuff.... sometimes it dun really looked as if i just had ops.. cos i can still speak normally .. just that sometimes i just cannot open my mouth too big...

Counting down .... 5 days, 120 hours , 7200 minutes , 432000 seconds more to ORD !!!!!!! yippeee.... !!! come'on ya'll... !! cheer with me ... ORD.. ORD ... ORD..... hahahha

ops today....

2006-03-30T07:47:00.000-08:00

finally went for the ops today to have my tooth removed... man.. its an experience of a life time lor.... lying on the bed...the feeling is indescribable when they covered your entire body only leaving an openin at the mouth ... the sound of the drill and the saw.. i can still remember it till now... all the blood..and numbness after the ops in a way or another sounds like some horror movie lor...... man it was unbearable... and all i could think of as the dentist pried open my mouth.. was God, wat have i done ??? haha.., my hands were clutched so tightly.. and after a while ... an amazin thing began to happen as i started singin songs of praise in my mind.. and it took me off thinkin about the ops ... and before i knew it, it was over. after the ops.. the numbness in my mouth made me feel that as if my mouth dun belong to me at all.. can't even feel where my tongue is moving.. ..the lips was totally numb... and i was bleeding excessively... but after a while.. when the numbness is over.. thats when the pain kicks in... it took me quite sometime before the bleeding stop and i can take some food.. and take my pain killers...and went for my afternoon nap... *groan* pain arh....

Not sometimes ... its all the time...

2006-03-28T06:40:00.000-08:00

sigh... quarreling again... my bro and my parents... *sniffs*

worries worries.....

2006-03-28T06:21:00.000-08:00

sometimes i am really worried for my brother... didn't do well for his exams... lack of interest in studyin... just wanna play computer the whole day, doing homework is so that he can use it as an excuse to play the comp later..
i really dunno wat to do with him... looking at my parents ... they are also at loss.... not knowing what to do with him either.. i guess i have to admit that it has been partially due to my fault ... .. after all i wasn't a good role model to him... and there are so many attitudes and bad habits that he pick up from me... ...
this family really needs more of God.. so wat if we are a Christian family.. so wat if my dad is a pastor.. we need God... more of God... more and more and more......................
God help us.... we need You .. Let it start from me ... i am willing to surrender all my rights and desires... God come and deliver us.... we need You God to deliver us ..... *sniff*

Back again !!

2006-03-26T07:30:00.000-08:00

After 3 years ... or so... ever since then .. the book i decided not to read until i am eligible to read it... well today i borrowed it... for i felt the need to read it .... thought i might be eligible to read it... haha

to me... God is more than enough for me.. and although i desire to see in flesh my relationship with Him.. i know that the who and when and how ... He knows, i dun ... this time reading this book will serve to remind me of God's will in my life in this area and how He wants me to live in accordance to His Word, to learn to follow Him closely and allow Him to guide me in every step...

at the end of the book ... wat ever outcomes that comes out of it... i am leaving it in God's hands... He knows best for me.... So i will trust Him...

Let all I am be all You want me to be ... cause all I want is more of You ...

Barney ;)

Kum Yan Youth Connection Family News Updates

2006-03-25T06:17:00.000-08:00

Kum Yan Youth Connection Family News Updates

The highest level of couch potatoism - a real potato ?

2006-03-23T06:58:00.000-08:00

haha... its so so good to hear from old frens... .. during the week 2 of my old frens called to catch up... one of which i have not heard from for almost 5 years... the other since the end of Bmt... great to hear from them ... to know that they are still doing well and stuffs... luffss....

been trying .. erm actually not la... hm... yah... to find a job... and end up practising my couch potato power everyday at home... as wat my fren has said...if this carries on .... very soon i will hit the highest level of couch potatoism.. and the end product.. to be a real potato maybe... hahah

things changed alot after i talked to pastor and li cheng, now once again.. i no longer fear the fact that i might be going overseas for studies... i gotta have more faith in God ... to trust that He will sustain me .. as i am going out to a new place... ya'll man ... God is doing new things in my life... and i gotta keep up... a new phase of life awaits for me... =)

there are things that i need to return back to God... things that it should have been with Him.. but over the years i have again and again taken it back...and everytime when i have taken it back and given it to someone else... it only ends up is disappointment... knowin that it wasn't meant to be....

i need to really trust Him that He will provide...at the end of the day... and even if He doesn't provide... i am satisfied with Him and in Him alone...

"So leave corruption and compromise; leave it for good , " says God "Don't link up with those who will pollute you. I want you all for Myself." (MSG) 2 cor 6:17.

2006-03-20T07:04:00.000-08:00

today is queenie's birthday... so .... Happy Birthday Queenie..... yea.. we celebrate it at the game of badminton.. went there early decorated the court.. .. gave her a surprise... =)
its been long since i last played badminton.. really not used to it.... even normal typing like this also feel abit strenous now... yea after all capts ball on sunday and today badminton... better than staying at home and mastering the technique of being the ultimate couch potato...

Red lobster on the run

2006-03-15T05:20:00.000-08:00

had a super fun day at sentosa... its like after how many years that i return to this sunny island... enjoyed the day with the JYCers.. running around,volleyball, soccer, sun tan...all the salt that got into my nose ... , its like back to the childhood days, so much memories... now that i look like a lobster.. haha....

in the midst of all the fun.. i began to feel that God is tellin me to jump in ... to do something new ... something that i have never done before... and i believe its china.... i am still struggling .... but i know that i will ultimately follow His directions...

Where Your Spirit is there i wanna be also.... Lord open doors for me.... i desire to be in Your will

my dreams

2006-03-11T08:56:00.000-08:00

finalised the dates liao.. 30th march and 4th april ... the 2 dates for my extraction ... looking at the x-ray .. found it quite funny that one of my tooth actually grows horizontally.. .. pretty cool sia...

then met up with daniel in the afternoon to hunt for the best price for my zen micro photo.. got the best price at sim lim ... so excited about it to only realised later that my computer is not compatible to the device... and now all i can do is to trust my buddy to help me settle it...
i am still convinced that if i really wanna study chinese and be the best in this field.. then i must go China... where else to study chinese then to be in their own land.. and i believe that God is also promptin me to make the move..
but i really struggled .. really really struggled... i have so many friends here.. my church .. my home... everything that i am till now.. i have lived in singapore... to leave and place my self else where is something i find it so so hard... especially church .. i will really really miss church.. my family too.. to be alone i guess is something that all students fear as they prepare to go overseas... some thing that they must cross over .. i fully understood that well and all i can say and ask of God my loving Father is that He directs me .. sends more ppl to confirm this with me... gives me grace and mercy ... that i will walk the right path .. following Him all the way to the cross... thats where i wanna be.. for where God is.. there i also wanna be ... God have mercy on me... i need the peace and assurance from You.. the peace that transcends over all understandings...

D-day

2006-03-09T07:20:00.000-08:00

The day have finally arrived... tomorrow is the day i am going to the dentist to have my wisdom tooth pulled... or at least i think it is .. if not i am really so gonna kill the dentist at kranji camp ... for making me go round and round.. refer me here and there...taking a journey around the singapore... then finally back to square one... i have not much time left... not that i am dying.. but that i am ording... and then i won't hav the SAF subsidies liao... so must make full use of the time...

anyways ... God bless ya'll !!!

Master..Mission..Mate

2006-03-09T06:21:00.000-08:00

"Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone, to have a deep, soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and exclusively. But God says, "No, not until you are satisfied and fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone. I love you, My child, and until you discovered that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with me, exclusive of anyone or anything else, exclusive of any other desires or longings. I want you to have the BEST . Please allow Me to bring it to you. You just keep watching Me, expecting the greatest things. Keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I am. keep learning and listening to the things I tell you; you must wait.

Don't be anxious. Don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have gotten or that I've given them. Don't look at things you think you want. You just keep looking off and away up to Me, or you'll miss what I want to show you. And then, when you're ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than any you would ever dream of. you see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready ( I am working even this minute to have both of you ready at the same time ), until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me and is thus perfect love.

And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with Me, and to enjoy materially and concretely the everlasting union of beauty and perfection and love that I offer you with Myself. Know I love you utterly. I am God Almighty. Believe and be satisfied."

(author unknown)

(first read it on a bulletin several years back in YC... found it so true.. dunno where i kept it and only found it recently. Learned alot from this passage and it has become like a guideline for me.. pretty cool passage)

08-03-06

2006-03-08T06:16:00.000-08:00

i guess sayin that i am too free will make many of those still in army wanna kill me... but thats the truth. i am just so bored at home.. and as the day for me to pull my wisdom tooth approaches ... i would just shiver in fear... hearing all the stories of those who had done it before me ... the big pincers and pliers.... argh....

was at church today after a guzhen lesson at my aunty's house ... help chao sort out the songs for JYC, then helped Ian move stuffs into the store...